Living beyond the shadow of my Doubts

1.When we focus our attention on ourselves, we turn our attention away from God. We leave no room in our thoughts to listen to what he is thinking about us, because we have given that place away to be occupied by other peoples opinions Whose thoughts do you tend to focus on the most throughput your days yours, others, or Gods?

Defiantly Others if something happens that upsets me I don't tjhink of God;s option its immediately let
others people views flood my heart

2. How many times today di you wonder if you were measuring up to someones expectations of you?
List as many as you think of?

at least 10 Why I am slow at work I must not be a good enough Hair Dresser? why don't my kids listen to me? I am not a good disciplinarian? or Mom? Why don't she return my Text did I do Somme thing? I am not a good a friend?

3. Do you have any limitations or weakness that make you dougnt God can use you-Or Would want to? if so, describe them and why they make you sought God can use you?

yes I am a good enough to be used by the Lord of Lord King of all Kings!! I fail daily I am scared to fail not myself but God.

4. The angel of the Lord told Gideon, "Go in the strength you have......am I sending you? I will be with you (Judges6:14-16). With the promise in mind, what doughts are you currently facing that you sense God wants you to conquer with him and depend on his strength to overcome?

to write and speak for him I mess up and don't think I am equipped to help other people maybe my story?

5. Review the section in this chapter on "Getting past our Past." "Write down anything from your past that triggers old emotions that lead to insecurity and self Dought.

not being a good friend saying and doing things that hurt others because my Soul was hurt I said and
hurt a lot of people in my past.

6. What are some other triggers that cause you to doubt yourself?

my negative thought in my head is my worst enemy they whisper not good enough and Comparisons to other people and there life.

7. Have you viewed dought as an emotional weakness in the past? Have you ever asked God to take it away? and zap you with convince? Describe if and how are you are beginning to see the struggle with insecurity as part of your spiritual journey.

I have when it has all about to crash down on my I felt the walls closing inn around me I asked God out of desperatipon not daily.

Gods Promises

1. Has the Pain of your past ever made it hard for you to believe gods promises and plans for your future? What do you sense he wants to change in your prospective?

Yes, I have let a lot of pain and hurt build in my Heart till it was a wall then the Wall has turned into Hate and Anger to keep all people out that can and will hurt me and it has made me angry everyday that has turned into bitterness that has kept me from seeing all the great things that are in my life each day.
I feel Like God brought this Book A Confident Heart to open my eyes and see and put my Confidence in him not people they disappoint daily and have no healing capability I was looking for my Identity in my Job. as a Mother as a Wife not as God's Child I was looking for that Confidence in all the wrong places and Missing him day after day He wants to heal my hurt and my wounds and look to him and the other things will fade away.

2 .Can you think of a time when you asked? "If God loves me, then why?...."If so, what happened that led you to that question?

Yes many times when I was in a Broken home as a Child and sexually abused for years then as a Teenager as I looked to everything  drugs, party a boyfriend who constantly let me down and gave me more reasons to hate Men  and I  came up empty and more broken and hurt than before,

Brokenness.

3. Read 2  Corinthians 1:3-4 How has God comforted you in your troubles so that you can comfort others with the same hope He has given you?

I have Benn through a lot in my life defiantly everything has been a hard road nothing has come easy ever in my life and at times I ask Why God? But overall he has never let me down has always been there even in the hurt and anger he always shows me a better route

I think that is where God is working on me as we Speak is to show compassion toward others love on them like he would.

4. How have past hurts robbed you of hope and affected your relationship's today?

they have robbed me of a lot I have had a lot of Friendships end because of my hurt and insecurity's and assuming things of my past letting them flood my future I have hurt a lot of people as well because of my Hurt.

5. Read Isaiah 61:1-3 What are some things God promises in these verses that you are asing him to fulfill in your life?

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted to proclaim freedom for the captives! that is me I can have freedom from hurt and Brokenness and when I am healed I can help others feel free also.

6. Describe how unforgiven can hold you hostage and keep you from moving forward in hope. Is there someone you need to forgive or seek forgiveness from?

It can keep you angry, hold resentment make you physically Ill and hold your life hostage.

I need to forgive the People in my past that have hurt me and did me wrong and start fresh and mend some broken fences and yes ask forgiveness from someone.

7. Have you ever run from a story God has written in your Life? Do you sense Him inviting you, like Sam to share the "from broken to beautiful" pieces with someone who needs hope? Will you?

Yes I have ran from many because I didn't think I was good enough or qualified enough Yes I do I ruined a friendship all my own doings I owe her a major apology and yes I will make things right.

Dear Lord,

You see my heart make me a changed creation in you.

Amen

Unfailling Love

As I stare at the Computer blank as what I should write God's Unfailing Love.........Its bigger than Me bigger than my Life my circumstances God love  has been so Unfailing to me multiple times in my Life and Multiple times a day My strongest Moment when I realized God love is Unfailing was when I had my Kids for 16 Months and we were so Sure we were going to get to Adopt them a Boy and Girl and complete our forever home years of Infertility and My heart longing to be a Mom and the Babies we had rocked loved on spent time in the Hospital with protected bonded and called us Mommy and Daddy  was all pulled from us in and Instant it was like I had no reason to go on in my Life I was beyond Broken, The Weekend we got that News I lay ed in the floor of my Office and Cried out to God and I said Lord please tell you have another Plan this cant be it, and the Song "I will Praise you In the Storm" By Casting Crowns came in my head and flooded my Soul like a river I looked up the Lyrics one verse that all sticks out to me in that song is "Every Tear I cry you hold in your hands, I will Praise you in this Storm." I got up off the Floor and Went in the Living room where my they were and my Husband and Loved on them Thinking I may never see them or again? or I may See them grow up But God's Love will be the same, not that I was not ok , But I had to Trust him and that was 6 years ago and I get to watch those Babies everyday My Ella Katherine and Justin Morgan I am Beyond Blessed! to see watch them Grow up! to me that is a glimpse of his Unfailing Love no one can do that But him!

Love and Blessings,
April